great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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