He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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