How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
