That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
