I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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