dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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