as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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