Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
