weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
