I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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