i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We are all done wearing pants today
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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