I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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