Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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