the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
