thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
