need another drink. this is the easiest way
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
