I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
