i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
