I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
