How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
