Duck Duck Cougar?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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