True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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