the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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