I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
