I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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