So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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