were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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