dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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