He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
