so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
