I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
