I bet he comes in French.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
