I just threw up on my dentist
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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