Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
false alarm, still single
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
