i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
