she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
