NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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