So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize