This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
