I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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