I'm really into asian looking animals
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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