Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i think i just lost a toe
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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