toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize