Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize