Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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