how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And then he peed in my hair
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