Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
