I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
