I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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