i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
