hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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