Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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