her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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