lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
