omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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