pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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