Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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